I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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