YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize