It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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