saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Of course I have a pirate flag
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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