Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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