We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i drank out of a bidet.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
These tits shall not be calmed
This couple is walking their pig around campus
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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