Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
