Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
