That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
