the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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