Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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