Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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