8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Randomize