All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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