talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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