so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
