that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
