I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
