You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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