like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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