I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
