its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
