I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
