i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
