do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just invented taco cereal.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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