i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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