Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize