I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
