Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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