Who did Billy Mays play for?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
