I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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