Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
