I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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