she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
i now understand why vodka
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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