We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize