I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We had sex on a dog bed..
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
