Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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