why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
