I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
