That's when you crack a 10am beer
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
