he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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