put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
