Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You made out with two different species that night
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize