Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
