At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
