we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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