she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
