I think scott just propositioned me for sex
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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