Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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