Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
