Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
