Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
