the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just pee around me
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
