ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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