I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
