i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
