i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize