apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
operation harelip BJ is a go
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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