you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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