I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
