I seem to have left my pride at pride
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
