How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
