How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize