if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
