one might say we're banned from that church
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
