Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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