Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
only you would photoshop your dick
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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