You're my little dorito
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
