She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize