after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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