the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
