I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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