also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
