You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
