Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
