with your own penis?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
